Why You Struggle To Be Valuable To Others.

What you value impacts how valuable you become. What you consider to be a talent or skill or something worth note of your time and attention impacts how you behave. How you treat others. What you do and where you go.

What you value determines your priorities — which decides your value.

If you value wealth over trustworthiness, then you'll struggle to build wealth because no one will trust you. If you value getting out of trouble over honesty and humility, then you'll find yourself in even more trouble because of the lies and manipulation you use as a defense mechanism.

What you value determines your value.

It's easy to pay lip service to doing the right thing. That's what everyone else expects you to do. You're supposed to be honest. You're not supposed to hurt other people on purpose. It's understood that respect for others should be more important then your own selfish tendencies.

But that doesn't mean you actually believe that.

Maybe you're just going through the motions. Maybe what you really value is something different. Maybe you've bought into the Gordon Gekko model of world economics that "Greed is good."

You want what you want when you want it and you don't care how you get it. Other people's feelings don't matter to you. Their growth and development aren't your fault or responsibility.

You just value you.

Your goals. Your milestones. You getting what you want. And while you would never say that out loud, your priorities clearly show what you value. Then you wonder why other people don't value you.

It's because all you do is value you. You're selfish and uncaring, careless with the friendships of others, rude, and ridiculously unthoughtful.

What you value determines your value.

Good things lead to a good future. The same is true with the lack of value. But with all the worst of consequences. Without value, you can't be valuable to others. They don't need you, want you, or value you.

It's a tough lesson to learn. But an important one to remember. You don't get to decide what other people value. You do get to decide, by your actions, how valuable you become. And that, quite simply, is determined by what you value yourself.

Maybe it's time for a long hard look at the rules you play life by.

Dan Waldschmidt