11 Ways You are Sabotaging Your Commitments.

You've been there before. Looking around in disappointment at where you are. Wondering how you ended up here. Again.

At one point you had it all together. You were disciplined. Committed. Heads-down. Driven.

But then things went wrong. It started small. Almost unnoticeable at first.   

Small changes. Small actions. Left unchallenged.

And now, looking back, you realize something. Something sad.

You did it to yourself. You sabotaged your own progress. 

Not on purpose. It just happened.

And it's likely to keep happening as long you keep repeating these mistakes. Here are a few of these things that hold you back from being committed.

1. You don’t learn from your past

If you are always repeating the same mistakes or investing in the same kinds of businesses -- only to find yourself sitting at the bar after work telling anyone who will listen that "you lost your ass again," well, friend, you might need to be more committed.

When you are completely committed to the task at hand whether it is making smarter investments or building your business or your portfolio, you will find it more difficult to run the risk of repeating last year’s mistakes.

Think before you say “YES.” And trust your gut when it tells you to just say “NO.” And commit to learning from those decisions. 

2. You don’t think you are in control when you are

Not everything is within your control BUT... a lot of things are.

When you defer the blame to “I couldn’t help it” or “it just happened,” without pondering or addressing what YOU could have committed to doing differently to get a more desirable outcome, you wind up with negative feelings and beating yourself up over the things you could have controlled.

Commit to knowing what you have a hand in controlling your life and then take charge of the cards you are dealt -- confidently. 

3. You worry too much about the things you can’t control

There are going to be some things you legitimately have no control over -- like the stock market.

Sure you should worry about your investments, but you shouldn’t let it knock you out of the game. You are smart. You are business savvy.

You’ve probably taken a hit before and if not, you’ll live to take a hit another day. The things you can’t control don’t define you. Your commitment to getting back up after being knocked down does. 

4. You are the complainer of the group

Are you the guy people come to when they need solid advice or a pep talk? Or are you the guy most people steer clear of because you always seem to have something negative to say about every single thing in life?

Think about it. Who is the person around you that complains all the time? Is it you?

Life isn’t fair. What can go wrong, sometime does.

If you don’t have one of those people around you, look in the mirror and make sure you aren’t that person for other people. It’s hard to commit to awesomeness and forward motion if you are stuck in a negative thinking rut. 

5. You resent others successes and great ideas

Instead of committing to your own great ideas and successes, you spend a lot of time dwelling on what other people have done that you wished you had done first.

It’s natural to wish for a moment that you came up with the idea to create waterproof headphones for runners. But you didn’t.

Spending any time resenting the success of others is time that could have been better spent coming up with your next great idea. 

6. You’re working really hard to impress other people 

We all have a small part of us that desires to please others. Maybe it’s our mothers or our spouses. But there is a not-so-fine line between trying to please people and trying really hard to impress them.

You don’t always have to be the tallest person in the room. Or the best looking. Or the funniest. Or even the most successful.

You have your gifts. You know what you are working towards. If you are always working to impress other people you are selling yourself short and you are committing to the wrong cause.

Commit to impress yourself. That will get you much further. 

7. You quickly forget the plan

Two roads diverged on the way to your end goal. One is the plan you had written down and formulated from beginning to end. The other is something new and exciting and full of potential.

Are you the guy who always shifts gears to the new thing? If so, you are standing in your own way of being completely committed.

It’s great to get involved in new and exciting things. As long as you can follow through with the commitments you’ve already made. And plans you’ve already set into motion.

If you are always getting sidetracked, it’s likely that commitment is something you need to focus on more diligently. 

8. You aren’t thankful for how far you’ve come

Sure, your business is important. Sure, it’s disappointing when things don’t work out the way you had planned. Stop stressing yourself out over the milestones you thought you would have reached by now and look how far you’ve come.

  • Do you have your own business?
  • Are you in charge of a whole team of people?
  • Do you solve problems readily and effectively?
  • Is your family taken care of?
  • Can you afford to pay your insurance deductible?

You’ve come a long way from that wide-eyed college grad eating ramen and oatmeal every day. Your commitment so far has paid off. Don’t falter now. 

9. Your energy is low

When you are stressed, it causes your body to want to eat more and to want to sleep more. Your energy is low. You’re tired. You just don’t want to deal with anything that is going on.

Life doesn’t care if you are stressed out. It just goes on.

If you haven’t committed to your physical and mental wellness, it will be very easy for you to spiral down into the abyss of stress. And it’s just no fun.

Commit to helping yourself be physically and mentally well. Whether it’s a 10-minute walk around the block at 2pm to blow off some steam or a more calming meditative approach.

Just starting that commitment daily will make it easier for you to commit to other, more life-changing, activities. 

10. You dwell on the good ole days

I know this is harsh, but seriously, if you tell us that story about your high school football days one more time, we may just lose it. It’s great that you were awesome back then. We actually think you are awesome now.

And you’d be more awesome if you’d leave the past in the past and commit to the present. When you spend all the time thinking about the “what was,” you don’t leave a lot of room for the “what could be.”

Nobody likes to hear that it’s time to move on whether from a high school football past or from a deceased loved one, but you aren’t doing anyone any good committing to the past. People need you now!  So commit to the present. 

11. You have a problem maintaining personal relationships

If your personal relationships are suffering, it may be that "you" are at the core of the problems.

If you are always letting people down by telling them you are going to do something and then letting something “more important” come up, you are definitely not completely committed.

This includes missing out on important events for your kids, not being able to be in a relationship for an extended period of time, and generally just letting down the people who love you and the people you love.

These things are never intentional, but you must admit it when it happens and adjust accordingly. Commit to the follow through. 

You won’t make much progress towards success as long as you continue to sabotage your commitment with poor behavior.

We don’t always see the ways in which we are sabotaging our commitment to ourselves and to others.

And admitting the areas where you have a problem can be the hardest thing to do.

But honesty is necessary for growth.

And if you want to become completely committed, you need to address the elephant in the room -- you’re commitment issues. 

Think about the ways you’ve stopped yourself from being completely committed. Are you doing things that are sabotaging your commitment?

Dan Waldschmidt