Just Be Disappointed.

You don't have to be that old before you realize that the world can be a cruel place. The smartest people don't always get the best results.  The best employees don't always get promoted and the pay raise.  You can go to college and graduate top of your class and still struggle to find a job that pays your bills.

Despite all your planning and prowess there are many things that will always be outside your control .  You just can't demand fairness and it is so. It's the same with validation or kindness or a "second chance"  Sometimes you won't get what you want.

You're going to be disappointed.

And not just once in a while.  It can seem like a way of life.

Day after day.   You pay your dues, put in the effort, and still get screwed over -- by a HR execs who won't hire you, by a CEO who doesn't believe in your vision, by a family that doesn't understand why you can't be home when you want to be.

It can wear on you.  Wear on your soul.

You start getting cynical and passive agressive.  You stop putting in the extra effort.  You question anyone who might have good intentions.  You give up in the inside.

And you don't need to.

It's OK to be disappointed.

In fact, it might be a lifesaver. A dream saver actually.

You can deal with disappointment without letting it cripple your ability to take bold risks.  You just have to think about the experience differently.

Instead of focusing on the lack of fairness and trying to figure out "why these things always happen to you", look for what's positive  -- what pragmatic lessons you can take away from the situation  They are always there.  Right below the surface.

Was your message right, but the timing wrong?  Did you deliver the wrong message to the right person?  What is one thing you could do better next time?

Something begins to happen when you start thinking like that .

Disappointment becomes your fuel.

It hurts just the same.  But the pain goes away a lot faster.  Instead of dwelling on the agony of the moment, you are working on making sure it doesn't happen that way ever again.

There are things that you can't control.

Your attitude and intentions aren't on that list.

Which is why you just need to be disappointed.

Disappointed by what you can't change.  Energized by your personal decision to do something about it.