Fear is Making You a Loser.
You were born a winner. And life taught you how to be a loser.
Ironic isn't it?
You beat the odds. From conception to nine months of pre-natal nurturing to emergence in a world full of dangers, you survived.
You explored the boundaries of sight, sound, touch, taste and smell...
- You screamed until you could talk. And then you wouldn't stop.
- You pulled the table cloth off the top of the table so you could see what was on top of the table.
- You licked anything in site - the bathroom floor and the dirty window. Germs didn't seem to bother you.
- You reached out to touch the hot stove even after your mom yelled at you 17 times that it would burn you.
- You smelled everything even when it made your nose bleed and eyes water.
And then you learned that you weren't supposed to do that...
You were told that you needed to "learn from your experience" to "grow up" and "stop dreaming".
Any of those sounds familiar to you?
At that moment, here is what began to happen:
"Fear started turning you into a loser."
And from then until now, you have been fighting to get back into the winner's circle.
Every effort, ever strategy, every tactic -- everything has been been about limiting the effects of fear on your performance.
You fell like you aren't winning as often as you want to, so you put in the effort to turn that around.
- You read more books.
- You go to conferences and listened to experts.
- You start scanning the the top 20 blogs by the leading gurus.
- You go to webinars to get the latest tips and tricks.
- You hire a coach to help you achieve your goals.
- You put in a little extra effort each day.
- You join a networking group to see what other people are doing.
- You start a "high achiever" group on LinkedIn.
And at the end of the day, you still feel like a loser.
Like too many times you are losing when you should be winning.
And the answer is pretty simple:
Fear is Making You a Loser.
Fear is crippling your performance. Undoing every dream you want for you. Destroying the advantages you gain by your extra effort.
It's deep in your soul.
It's the "I'm afraid I don't know" reply that slips through when you get asked a question you might not have the answer to. It's the "I'm afraid to ask" rebuttal you give when you are told that bad news awaits you. It's the "I'm afraid you're right" concession you give when the facts point to a different point of view than our own.
It's fear. And it's stealing your destiny.
The same senses that made you a winner as a young tyke get all twisted up by the time you get old enough to be reading articles like this one. It's hard to know where you went wrong and to make it right.
Fear isn't a school bully you can tackle or a plywood wall you can punch a hole in. It's in your soul -- in your mind.
And here are some secrets you need to know:
1. Fear distorts your view of reality.
Most of the time what you see is what you get . But what you see may not be what is really there.
Fear is like a kaleidoscope. Except with demons and monsters instead of funky colors and shapes.
When you are anxious, nervous, or scared, you start reacting rationally for the reality that you see. Except what you see isn't really happening.
Take off the "Fear Goggles". Ask someone you trust, "Does my perspective make sense"?
Do this a few times and you will start to see a pattern. You ask like a crazy man when you are afraid. It's temporary insanity.
You can disarm fear by trusting that what you think is there, might not really be there at all.
2. Fear quiets the chants of your supporters.
Everybody has fans. Even weirdos, wimps, and winos. Someone somewhere loves you deeply and wants you to succeed.
It's true. You are a hero. That you win is terribly important to someone else. You need to really stop a minute and let that sink in.
When you are afraid, it's easy to believe that you are all alone and that no one cares that you win.
Your supporters need you. You need to know that they are there.
It's strangely curious how after you come through the big storm -- hit the finish line -- that you hear how loudly the crowd is cheering.
Guess what? They were there the entire time. You were just too afraid to notice them stomping their feet and waving their arms.
You were focused on you. On not losing.
3. Fear makes you feel irrationally inadequate.
You have everything you need to be successful right now. You are capable of achieving every success you can ever imagine.
Fear drives you to think you might not be good enough. Nothing could be further from the truth.
You were born a winner... Once upon a time, that's all you knew how to do. Do you fully understand that?
At one point in your life the only thing you knew how to do was to conquer life. Sure you took it one breath at a time. But it worked... You won. You won consistently. You were all you needed to succeed.
The only thing that has changed is that the world has scared you into believing that you might not be enough, have enough to change the world.
And that notion is purely irrational.
Stop fear from making you a loser.
Stop working more and start being more.
Start being more courageous.