Fear, Failure & What You Want For You
We let fear control too much of our lives. And the result is unnecessary failure.
We fail because we fear. It's just as simple as that. We fear........ and then we fail. That's how it always works. If you fear, you will fail.
It's never not the case.
When you stop and think about it, it seems that fear is just a dress rehearsal for failure.
What if you could fear and not fail? What if you could live a life of fear, take no chances, and emerge with every dream you ever wanted?
It just doesn't work. It's not the way the universe operates. Reward demands risk. Progress requires toil. Breakthrough needs courage. They go hand-in-hand.
Think about that for a moment.
Think with me about a recent time where you failed because you let fear get in the way:
- Maybe you didn't listen to your gut instinct even when you knew you'd be sorry later...
- Maybe you didn't speak out even when you had an amazing contribution to add to the discussion...
- Maybe you let "flight" win out over "fight" and ended up running away from the "hard" solution.
- Maybe you decided to quit too early because "it wouldn't have worked anyway"...
- Maybe you want to have a tough conversation with a friend in trouble and just decided to put it off...
Fear looks like a million different things. It's there with us every day. It's the silent "dream killer"...
So let me ask you:
Are you fearless?
Not a nonsensical "I ain't afraid a' anyone" mind-warp, but a deep sense that within you is the ability, the power, the talent to achieve your wildest dreams.
And, yes, that does sound cheap and cheeky (a little anti-inspirational). But it just so happens to be the truth. You are actually stronger than your fear. It's just in your mind, and you have all the rest of you to combat it.
So what do you do?
To conquer fear you first need to understand it. You need to know what makes you most vulnerable. Where you are the most likely to give in.
I reached out to a new friend, Ishita Gupta, who is the founder and publisher or fear.less, an online magazine dedicated to stories of overcoming fear. She works with Seth Godin as his official "Head of Hoopla". In a previous life she studied medicine, produced documentary film and photo projects, and taught English to international students. She writes a lot of cool stuff at her blog Truth Ain't Easy.
She's just the right person to listen to about the topic. So I called her and we talked about fear and failure and anxiety -- and about the mental part of winning over fear
Here is a quick 4 minutes of what Ishita had to say: Ishita Gupta Disarms Fear by Edgy Interviews Inc.
Powerful. We talked for about 25 minutes in total. (If you want to hear the rest of the conversation than leave me a note in the comments and I will send you a link...)
At the end, we both realized that there are better choices than just letting fear consume us. We can smile in the middle of pain. We can live with courage. We can take the next step even though we can't see where to place our foot.
Fear is not going to go away. And fear is not going where you want to go. That dream you have? Fear won't take you there.